I’ve been thinking about how I wanted this blog to go without sounding like a bitch, but what the hell…. I’m honest and most think that’s bitchy….
I’m always getting bullied by “hobbyists” to lower my rates, slack on my screening. I’m really sick of it.
Clients don’t reply to every single tweet on twitter with the same compliments. Hobbyists do… Clients carefully chose who they chat with on twitter.
Hobbyists tells other hobbyists to see you, clients want to keep you all of themselves. I don’t need your endorsement.
Hobbyists join in on the drama on twitter/hobby boards, clients stay quiet.
Hobbyists like to bait ladies against each other and watch the drama unfold.
Clients (usually) don’t haggle, Hobbyists do.
Clients (usually) don’t ask you to NOT screen them, hobbyists do.
Clients don’t have a list of menu items for your session, hobbyists do.
Clients don’t write reviews in their heads while in session, hobbyists do. Now I don’t mind a review or two a year, but I don’t want EVERYTHING talked about like you are a beating chest asshole who wants to brag.(I no longer get reviews, this blog was made a few years ago, I no longer accept reviews)
Clients usually don’t push boundaries(unsafe practices, more free time, discounts, etc), clients are genuinely happy to be there and don’t question your rates.
Hobbyists will bug you to travel to their state/city and only get an hour. Clients ask for more time so it would be profitable for me to visit and they really want to spend more time instead of the wham bam one hour sessions(which I don’t like usually).
A Hobbyist will tell you what the going rate is in their city. I’ve heard too many times that I should lower my rate if I want to do well in their city. I do well with my rates in any city and don’t have to pile on appts throughout the day/week, thank you very much!
Hobbyists love to gossip about you or about you to other women. I can’t count how many times I’ve done a shoot for a lady and she tells me what they say about me.
Hobbyists like to compare you to other ladies and tell you in detail what they did with other ladies, I guess expecting the same thing from you. That just makes your session suck cause I won’t be into it. No one likes a braggart.
Clients spoil you with gifts and treat you like a princess. Not that getting gifts is a requirement, but its nice and thoughtful, and being nice and respectful gets you a very enjoyable experience, and we don’t forget niceness/respect when booking with you again. You guys(clients) are the ones we email first when touring and do our schedules around YOU(the nice client).
Hobbyists try to entice you with a review or threaten you with a bad review if you don’t see them. Clients usually have no clue what a review or whore board is. Honestly, I have been around for 24 years with a great rep and always had the same name, I don’t need a ton of reviews, or any for that matter.
I’ve noticed lately that some hobbyists have a curious cat, really…why?
I’ve asked this question on a few ladies boards to get their opinions and this is what they say:
“Hobbyist are entitled while a client are appreciative.”
“Hobbyists “own” us vs. clients “borrow” us.”
“Hobbyists are out for a bargain, clients appreciate us for our worth.”
“I stay out of a clients life-he stays out of mine. We are friendly and often care for each other but it ends as soon as he leaves and turns back into a pumpkin. Hobbyists are parasites wanting to `know` you and all of your business, to feed off of you, to feel special because they know everything about you and are taking notes of what they are going to tell everyone on the boards even as you are just opening the door. They think they matter more because they`ve met you.”
“Hobbyist try to milk you for everything you got. They expect a menu list prior to seeing you. They think it`s ok to haggle. They assume that if they ask for less services, then the appointment should cost less because they can`t comprehend they are paying for time! Clients are respectful of your personal space and life. They don`t call to ask you to hang out off the clock because they understand this is a business and not a damn dating network. And they are emotionally mature to handle the fact that we see this as a business and not a way to get a date. “
“Hobbyists treat you like a whore. A client treats you like a Lady.”
“Hobbyists are all about “Conquering” and then talking about it to everyone.”
Now today’s correspondence with a client is what sparked my blog. I was asked on a whore board last week if I wanted to be feature of the month. I was truly honored! And I accepted. I actually forgot about the feature of the month since I’ve been so busy. I was talking to a few guys in the shout/chat thing about how I don’t really see many hobbyists,(since one of them PMed me saying I needed to slack on my screening) I guess they got pissed. I told them I screen and read my site before contacting me. I guess they think I’m like every other lady on those sites… NOT TRUE! This is a private PM I want to share here. Now keep in mind this guy has been very nice and actually went through my screening process, he was just relaying a message.
I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I regret to inform you that the Gold Members are withdrawing their offer for July Provider of the Month. Please understand this does not reflect badly on you in any way. This was not an easy decision for us to reach and was the result of thoughtful and lengthy deliberation. In a nutshell, this is about preserving the peace for the board at large and stemming what would almost certainly be a rising tide of hobbyists wanting to argue about your screening and scheduling process.
I believe you have the absolute right to use any means you deem appropriate to ensure your safety as a provider. Even so, your comments about seeing few hobbyists seem to confirm that most of them fiercely value their anonymity more than anything. The problem then arises when they don’t do their homework and go against your instructions. I admittedly fell into this trap, but apologized for my error. Others have been less gracious. With a front page banner declaring you Provider of the Month, the number of hobbyists making the same mistake with even less grace would quickly make the situation intolerable for all concerned.
As a way of apology for putting you in this untenable position, the Gold Members would like to cover a month of your photography banner to remind everyone of your contributions to the board in the form of your exquisite and unmatched artistry. We hope you will accept our sincerest apologies for this unfortunate situation.” I edited some out for personal reasons.
I talked this over with my fellow escorts to see their reaction and this is what I got:
“I think it is utter bullshit. There are many ladies like yourself who prefer not to see many hobbyists due to their outrageous behavior and attitudes towards safe providers. Their sense of entitlement and unwillingness to be properly screened and schedule appropriately leaves much to be desired. Many of the ladies who are board groupies don`t screen to the extent that some of us other gals do. I applaud you! Who cares about some slobbyist board? I`m over the bullying garbage. I think you are absolutely wonderful! Go forth and kick ass! Screw those fuck boys. Xoxo”
“I would be pissed too if I were in your shoes. This is one reason why I stopped actively participating on hobbyists boards last year. I don`t see hobbyists at all, and haven`t in a few years. Their reason for rejeting you makes no sense”
“Whoa. More evidence supporting why *I* refuse to see hobbyists. Thank you for posting this Megan. “
“Oh the male tears flow like a river on that board. Their sense of entitlement skipped right over your screening/booking requirements.”
Discussion boards spawned hobbyists. These are men who spend way too much time obsessing over the client/provider relationship and trying to get it for free.
And from hobbyists we get hobby-pimps. These men try directly to influence providers’ rates/services. Even though not all hobby-pimps engage in review coercion they tread the line. (Those who do engage in review coercion always identify as hobbyists.)
Hobbyists tend to take care of their own. They have a much stronger sense of solidarity than providers do. This is unfortunate. I knew of a rapist sheltered in the hobbyist community. The providers were persuaded not to go the police (not that it took much persuading) and the man was never tossed out of the community. This is not a benefit of the Internet. Nor is it a benefit of being part of the “community” for providers”
— Amanda Brooks
Not all hobbyists are bad, but the ones I’ve encountered or hear about are. I’m so fortunate to have amazing clients, they make it to where I don’t have to lower my standards and stay safe and sane. A lot of ladies think that hobbyists are the only types of clients out there. Not the case! They get jaded quickly and want to quit and become men haters. I do my best to try to inform the ladies when I’m shooting with them that there are great clients out there..
Side note! No hobbyists were hurt in the making of this blog…. This blog was from 4/5 years ago, just decided to put it back up… I’ve added a few more things..